How to talk to your child about difficult things?

Jak rozmawiać z dziećmi na trudne tematy?

Parents always want the best for their children, they wish to save them from terrible and stressful experiences or unpleasant information. However, avoiding talking about difficult topics will not make the world's evil disappear. Therefore, it is very important to introduce them slowly into the adult world in a conscious and child-friendly way.

What to talk to children about?

Anger, disappointment, stress or aggression are emotions experienced by people regardless of their age. Different stimuli provide us with a dose of different emotions. That’s why when you are watching news or answering phone calls, do not analyze your reactions too much and do not try to control your emotions. Let the child also notice, that sometimes situations beyond our control can affect our well-being. It is worth allowing the child to reflect on his own, let him think about the things he has seen or heard, and then ask about feelings and emotions. Talking about what is in a child's small head and what the adult thinks, brings the child and the parent closer to each other, and most of all - breaks the barrier between two generations.

Everything will be fine

When watching the news and talking about difficult topics for children, it is worth remembering about all kinds of assurances that every situation has a solution. When we, adults, organize all the information in heads ourselves, we should help our child do the same. Taught by experience and various situations, we are able to find a way out of many situations, while children should by led by hand and shown everything.

Step by step

When talking to a child, we must remember to show positive things in addition to negative things. Everything has its advantages and disadvantages and you can learn a lesson from every difficult situation. It will be useful many times in adult life. The topics and intensity of conversations should be adjusted to our child individually, no one, like a parent, will be able to adjust the content to his emotional maturity or even… current mood. Combining fun (for example, role-playing, playing shop, or reading books) with conversations about adulthood will help "cushion" your child's experience of the stories.

Mom, can I ask you something?

We can be sure that we will hear such a question several times in our lives. Many questions arise in child's head – they are interested in the surrounding world, human relations, nature ... Sometimes the questions may seem uncomfortable, they will be out of place or we will simply be surprised by them, when we don’t expect it. Some parents, in order to avoid talking about difficult topics, answer playfully, maliciously wanting to silence the child, or quote sayings that everyone has known for many, many generations. We should be aware, that sooner or later, child will find the answer to the questions that bother him and the older friend from the yard will not pay attention to how to answer, as not to offend anyone's feelings. Therefore, it is worth treating children seriously and introducing them slowly into the world of adults. Even if we are unable to avoid the situation with an older friend, a frightened child will come to us, because we have allowed him to comfortably talk about feelings and emotions. 

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